这意味着战争 This means war.
jayjayliu原创译制·微博@jayjayliu721
哦 亲爱的 Oh, my baby.
该死的大学 Fucking college.
好的 所以我查了一下 Okay, so, I checked
波特兰的天气有29度 the weather in Portland and it's 85 degrees,
所以你需要防晒霜 so you will need your sunscreen.
我知道 妈妈 我放背包了 Yeah, I know, Mom. It's in my backpack.
其他洗漱用品带了吗 You got all your other toiletries?
带了 你装在我的背包里 Yes, in my bag that you packed.
我看着你放的 记得吗 While I watched, remember?
你一直在掉眼泪 You were crying the whole time.
对 真是一团糟 Yeah, what a mess.
他又不是去打仗 只是去俄勒冈 It's not like he's going off to war. It's just Oregon.
我知道 我知道 I know, I know,
但这是你生命中的美妙时刻 but it's such an amazing time in your life,
你可以成为任何你想成为的人 you can literally become anyone you wanna be.
-妈妈 -你可以改变世界 - Mom? - You could change the world.
-妈妈 -你可以殖民火星 - Mom? - You could colonize Mars.
-我是说 -妈妈 - I mean... - Mom,
你越说越离谱 you're spiraling.
-对不起 不好意思 我们马上就好 -没问题 - Sorry, sorry, boys. We'll just be one minute. No problem.
要记住 And remember...
-终身湖人 -终身湖人 我知道 - Lakers for life. - Lakers for life, I know.
你要是变成开拓者队球迷 Come back a Blazers fan, I'm not gonna let you
-我不会让你进屋 -知道了 爸爸 - back in the house. - Yeah, I know, Dad.
-别说了 -我认真的 - Stop. - I'm serious.
别再吃什锦干果了 Stop eating the trail mix.
这是给尼克的 旅途很长 It's for Nicky. It's a long trip.
我想就这样吧 Um, I guess this is it.
抱歉 我有点情绪化 I'm sorry, I'm a little emotional.
妈妈 爸爸 Mom, Dad.
-好的 -我爱你 - Okay. - I love you. I love you.
我爱你 I love you. I love you.
-好的 再见 -到了给我打电话 Okay, see you later. Call me when you get there.
哟 我们出发吧 Yo, let's... fuckin' go.
自由 Freedom!
走咯 Let's do this.
咱们的孩子走了 There goes our baby.
啊 Ah!
我爱你 I love you!
每个女人都梦想拥有浓密的眉毛 Every woman dreams of full brows
和性感的长睫毛 and long luscious eyelashes.
多亏了Profizal的生发技术 And thanks to Profizal's hair-generating technology,
我相信我们有很大的机会 I believe we have a real opportunity
将其推销给化疗病人 to market this to chemo patients.
这太伤感了 It's too sad.
我是说 这里有人想悲伤吗 I mean, anybody here wanna be sad?
-不想 -没人想悲伤 No. Nobody wants to be sad.
广告上哪里体现了 Where's the ad that says
Profizal帮男性长出头发 Profizal puts hair on men's heads?
他们才是我们的推销对象 That's who we should be marketing to.
缺乏安全感 Insecure men
手握大把钞票的男人 with lots of cash.
不 爸爸 其实ICO实验室说 No, actually, Dad, ICO labs said Profizal
-Profizal对头皮无效 -无效吗 - doesn't work on scalps. - It doesn't?
-无效 -靠 - No. Oh, shit.
我们得让你负责另一个项目 该死的 We gotta get you on another project, dammit.
哦 瑞蓝玻尿酸如何 Oh, what about Restylane?
抗衰老填充物吗 The anti-ageing filler?
对 法国高德美为老年女性 Yes, the new Galderma product
推出的新产品 for older women.
因为你是…… Because, you know, you're a...
你是个专家 ...you're... you're an expert, really.
我是说 你已经到了一定的年龄段 I mean, you're of a certain age bracket.
-我才40 -喔 我可没问她年龄 - I'm 40. - Whoa! I did not ask her age.
大家有目共睹的吧 Everybody saw that, right?
绝不问女士年龄 Would never do that.
听着 我真心觉得 Look, I really think
这项目能与你完美契合 this would be a perfect fit for you.
好的 Okay.
兰迪 你有啥方案 Randy, what do you got?
勃起功能障碍 汉克 Erectile dysfunction, Hank,
在胸西尼面前 is a thing of the past
已成过去式 with Thoracinil.
嘿 胸西尼在欧盟国是禁用的 Hey. So, Thoracinil is banned in the EU,
所以背景不能用米克诺斯岛 so we can't use Mykonos
但他骑着水上摩托 我喜欢 but he's on a jet-ski. I love those.
我喜欢水上摩托 I love jet-skis.
喂 Hello?
我是克里斯汀·多尔纳 Uh, well, it's Kristin Dorner
巴尔巴诺是我的娘家姓 Balbano is my maiden name.
你无法放弃巴尔巴诺这个姓 You never give up the name Balbano.
抱歉 你是谁 Sorry? Who is this?
我是比安卡 I am Bianca
我有个坏消息 and I have terrible news.
朱塞佩·巴尔巴诺去世了 Giuseppe Balbano is dead.
哦 我祖父 Oh, my father's father.
天啊 我还以为他早就死了 God, I didn't even know he was alive.
稍等片刻 Can you hold on a sec?
保罗 Paul!
我老公是搞乐队的 My husband's in a band.
我真为你难过 I'm sorry to hear that.
你祖父去世了 Your grandfather is dead.
你得来处理他的事务 You need to settle his affairs.
他的事务 可是 His affairs? But, I mean,
我都不认识他 I don't even know him.
他在遗嘱中特别提到了你 You're named specifically in his will.
我们会让你飞往意大利 We'll fly you to Italy.
你明晚就走 You'll leave tomorrow night.
等等 你是说意大利吗 Wait. What, did you say Italy?
就是那个意大利国家吗 Like, as in Italy Italy?
对 意大利 Yes, Italy.
哦 听起来…… Oh, that sounds...
不 我不能就这么上飞机 No, I... No, I can't just get on a plane
直奔我梦想的地方 and head on over to my dream place.
现在工作难以抽身 Everything is crazy at work right now
还有我老公需要我 and my husband needs me, you know?
我觉得我走不开 And I just can't see that I can get away...
安静 听我的歌词 Quiet, listen to my lyric here.
我不再被地球~~~ ♪ I'm no longer Ear-ear-earth...♪
我要挂了 I gotta go.
束缚 ♪ ...Bound
几点了 What time is it?
克里斯汀 Kristin...
-在你发飙之前 -嘿 - Before you start... - Hey
-嘿 -听着 我想告诉你我是女权主义者 - Hey. - Listen, I just want you to know I'm a feminist.
额 Uh...
我们之前见过 We met before.
-真的吗 -真的 - Really? Yeah.
在多米尼克的学校 At Domenick's school,
我是辅导员 I'm the guidance counsellor.
-我的天啊 -我只是 - Oh, my God. I... It's just that,
如果你对你老公有信心 I wouldn't have done this if you had
我是不会这么做的 more faith in your husband.
他是个很棒的作词家 He's a great songwriter.
我知道 I know.
崔西 你该走了 Tracy, it's time for you to go.
怎么了 What?
-听着 -好 我在听 - Listen. - Yes, listening.
-我支持你发飙 -真是谢谢你 - I support your right to be angry. Thank you so much.
-你真好 -可以打给我 - That's really kind. - Yeah, maybe call me,
我们可以聊聊 we can talk this through.
-真的吗 你愿意吗 -你意下如何 - Really? You would do that? - What d'you say?
-是的 -好的 Yeah. Sure, I mean...
-再见 -再见 Bye. - Bye.
克里斯 我很抱歉 Kris, I am so sorry.
我很难承认 可是 This is really hard for me to admit but,
我有这种瘾症 I have this illness.
我满脑子都想做爱 All I wanna do is have sex.
我也想做爱啊 I mean, I wanna have sex, too.
我们差不多有 We haven't had sex in, like,
-三年没亲热了 -我知道 - three years. - Yeah, I know,
我是说 和其他人做 but I mean, with a new person.
噢 Oh!
不是针对你 Yeah, it's not personal, it's...
嘿 Hey,
我手机落下了 I left my phone.
我手机 My phone.
-这个吗 -对 谢谢 - This one? - Yeah, thank you.
这很艰难 多米尼克也走了 It's just hard, you know, with Domenick leaving,
这是个巨大的调整 it's just a big adjustment.
别替那个讨厌鬼辩解 Don't defend that douche stain.
他不过是在星巴克打工的混蛋 He's a grown-ass man working at a Starbucks.
陌生人抢你的钱包 Stranger grabs your purse.
胯 眼 胯 眼 Crotch. Eye.Crotch. Eye.
陌生人袭胸 Stranger grabs your boob.
胯 眼 胯 眼 Crotch. Eye.Crotch. Eye.
-什么 天呐 -是他吗 - What? Oh, my God! - Is that him?
-是他吗 手机给我 -不是 又是意大利打来的 - Is that him? Give me the phone. - No, it's Italy calling again.
他们要我明晚飞往意大利 They want me to fly to Rome
处理他的事务 tomorrow night to settle his affairs.
我是说 这很疯狂 对吧 我不能去 I mean, that's crazy, right? I can't go.
克里斯汀 Kristin,
你对着什么自慰 what do you masturbate to?
意大利烹饪节目 具体地说 Italian cooking shows. I mean, more specifically,
《斯坦利·图齐：搜寻意大利》 Stanley Tucci: Searching for Italy.
其中有一集 There was this one episode
他去了布拉塔芝士工厂 where he went to this burrata factory,
到处都是奶油 and it was all creamy
他的手上全是乳白的东西 and he got his hands in all the milky stuff.
-非常…… -停 你把这个幻想 - It was so... - Stop. You've masturbated
自摸成了现实 this fantasy into existence.
你得去 You have to go.
陌生人拿枪指你 Stranger puts a gun in your face.
珍妮 我老板给我安排了一个新任务 Jenny, my boss just assigned me a new campaign.
那就说是出差 Well, make it a business trip.
ICO的供应商遍布全球 ICO has suppliers all over the globe.
你觉得我去年是如何去巴西 冰岛 How do you think I got to go to Brazil, Iceland and Ireland
-和爱尔兰的 -我不知道 - last year, huh? - I don't know.
为了解决他们的诉讼 To settle their lawsuits.
我不该留下来 Well, shouldn't I stay here
解决我的婚姻问题吗 and work on my marriage?
你应该喂饱你的小穴 You should work on getting your pussy pounded.
-天了噜 -陌生人说你笑起来 Oh, my God. - Stranger says you're prettier
更好看 when you smile.
胯 眼 胯 眼 Crotch. Eye.Crotch. Eye.
别再为别人着想了 Stop thinking about everybody else.
开始为自己想想吧 Start thinking about you.
行吧 那就想想你祖父的遗愿 Fine, then think about your grandfather's last dying wish.
天呐 或许我应该去 Oh, my God maybe I should go.
-看到我刚做了啥吗 -没有 - Did you see what I did there? - No.
我把别人的感受凌驾于你之上 I just got you to go to Italy by putting
-就让你愿意去意大利了 -好吧 - someone else's feelings ahead of your own. - All right, all right,
这是我应得的 I deserve this.I deserve this.
我会去意大利 我会体验自己的 I'm gonna go and I'm gonna have my own
《托斯卡纳艳阳下》或《美食 祈祷 恋爱》 Under the Tuscan Sun. Or Eat, Pray, Love.
做爱 Fuck.
什么 What?
《美食 祈祷 做爱》 Eat, Pray, Fuck.
说出来 Say it.
什么 《美食 祈祷 做爱》 What, Eat, Pray... Fuck?
《美食 祈祷 做爱》 Eat, Pray, Fuck.
天啊 Jesus.
美食 祈祷 Eat, Pray...
-做爱 -再说一次 - Fuck. - Say it again.
美食 祈祷 Eat, Pray...
-做爱 -大声点 - Fuck! - Louder.
-从逼里喊出来 -美食 祈祷 做爱 - From the vagina! Eat, Pray, Fuck.
美食 祈祷 做爱 Eat, Pray, Fuck.
嘿 尼克 是妈妈 Hey, Nicky. It's Mom.
我只是想告诉你 I just wanna let you know
我安全抵达意大利了 I landed safe, in Italy.
我甚至在机场买了一本日记 I even bought myself a journal at the airport.
我一直想要本日记 I've always wanted a journal.
额 不管怎么说 该死 Um, anyway... Shit.
抱歉 不是骂你 我爱你 无论如何…… Sorry, not you. I love you. Anyway...
噢 哇 Oh... Whoa!
如果你想的话 I said you can stand up,
-可以站起来 -天啊 对 谢谢你 - if you like. - Oh, my God. Right. Yes, thank you.
天了噜 你好好闻啊 Oh, my God, you smell so good.
额 我…… Um, I'm, um...
我去 我叫 Oh, my God, what is
啥来着 抱歉 克里斯汀 嗨 my name? Sorry. Kristin. Hi.
-克里斯汀 我叫洛伦佐 -对 你好 洛伦佐 - Kristin, I'm Lorenzo. - Yes. Hello, Lorenzo.
洛伦佐 快道歉 Lorenzo! Scusa!
-对不起 -没关系 Sorry. Uh... - It's okay.
-这是我姑妈爱斯梅拉达 -哦 - This is my Aunt Esmeralda. - Oh.
她刚从希腊度假回来 She just got back from holiday in Greece.
-哦 真棒 -是的 - Oh, nice. - Yeah.
她想回家 And she wants to get home.
嗨 你好 我是克里斯汀 我是来参观的 Hi. Ciao. I'm Kristin. I'm just visiting.
我是说 我在这里出生 Yeah. I mean, I was born here,
但我一直没回来 but I haven't been back
我在婴儿时就离开了 since I was a... a baby.
跟这个绝望的女人要号码 然后我们走
她说啥 What did she say?
她叫我要你的电话号码 She wants me to ask for your number.
不过别担心 我不想勉强 But don't worry, I don't want to assume.
-嗯 -所以 - Well... So...
再见 Ciao.
额 不不 等等 Uh, no, no. Wait. I mean,
如果爱斯梅拉达要我的号码 我凭什么拒绝呢 if Aunt Esmeralda wants my number, who am I to say "no?"
对不起 我通常不会如此忙慌地 Oh, sorry. I am not usually so veloce
要电话号码 with asking for phone numbers.
-忙慌什么意思 -就是急切 - What is veloce? - Oh, yeah. Quick.
如果你知道这词 If... if you knew that,
就会更加有趣 it would have been funnier.
不 这很有趣 我懂 No, it's very funny, I get it.
我懂忙慌 忙慌挺不错 我…… I got it, Veloce. Veloce is good. I...
我喜欢你的忙忙慌慌 I like your veloce-ness.
天啊 My God!
-这是作甚 -很抱歉 - What was that? I am so sorry.
-没关系 -所以你是来 It's okay. So, are you here on
出差还是游玩 business or pleasure?
这个嘛 Um, well...
游玩 我祖父刚去世了 pleasure. You know, grandfather just died and...
哦不 我不认识他 Oh, no, I... I didn't know him, that's not...
这部分是悲伤的 不过…… that part's sad, but, um...
也许算是 So maybe...
半游玩 half pleasure.
我得走了 I have to run.
是 当然 Yes, sure. Um...
我会打给你的 Well, I'll... I'll call you.
这 What...
啥情况啊 just happened?
-天啊 -克里斯汀·巴尔巴诺 - Oh, my God. - Kristin Balbano.
我是 Yes.
比安卡派我们带你去葬礼 Bianca sent us to take you to the funeral.
-哦 你好 -我是奥尔多 - Oh, hi. I... - I'm Aldo.
好的 很高兴认识你 奥尔多 Okay. Nice to meet you, Aldo. Yes.
-我是但丁 -你好 但丁 很高兴认识你 - I'm Dante. - Hello, Dante. Nice to meet you.
-你的司机 -非常感谢 - Your driver. - Thank you. Thank you so much.
你们人真好 I... It's very... So kind.
嘿 各位 我现在要换衣服 好吗 Hey, you guys. I am gonna change now, okay?
所以不要回头 So don't turn around or...
-罗马斗兽场 -能不能 The Colosseum. - Can you at least,
请你开慢点 please, just, like, go slow?
-梵蒂冈 -梵蒂冈 The Vatican. The Vaticano?
我错过了吗 我错过了对吧 Did I miss it? I missed it, right?
-靠 天啊 我的口红呢 -帕欧拉喷泉 - Oh, shit. Ugh, God. Where is my lipstick? Fontana Acqua Paola.
-我口红掉了 -大喷泉 I dropped my lipstick. Il Fontanone.
什么 在哪儿 Oh, what? Where is it?
-能倒回去吗 -我们得去葬礼 - Can we go back? - We have to go to the funeral.
谢谢你 Oh, thank you.
呜 非常感谢 Whew, thank you so much.
我的天啊 Oh, my God.
他在这儿 There he is.
嗨 Hi.
我们眼睛是一样的 We have the same eyes.We have the same eyes.
真是…… That's...
早上好 Buongiorno.
嗨 你好 抱歉 Hi. Ciao. Sorry. Um...
你是比安卡吗 Are you Bianca?
请坐 Sit.
这位是法布里齐奥 This is Fabrizio,
你祖父的侄孙 your grandfather's great nephew.
哦 你好 很高兴认识你 Oh, hi, hi. Nice to meet you.
所以我们是 So, that must make us, like,
远房表亲 对吧 second cousins, right?
对你的损失我深表遗憾 I'm sorry for your loss.
他在生我气吗 Is he mad at me?
阿门 Amen.
额 Uh...
我祖父是做什么的 what did my grandfather do?
他是酿酒师 He was a winemaker.
他酿酒吗 He made wine?
我也想酿酒 I wanna make wine.
天啊 一定是刻在基因里的 Oh, my God, it must be in the genes.
你不能违背基因 对吧 I mean, you can't argue genes, right?
罗马诺家的混蛋
嘿嘿 你没事吧 Hey, hey, hey. Are you okay?
不 我有事
我中枪了 白痴
赶忙救我
赶忙意思是快点 Veloce means quick.
-快 快 快 -他需要帮助 Quick, quick, quick! He needs help!
嗯 Hmm.
尝尝我的枪子 尼可 Say hello to my little friend, Nico.
到底是怎么回事 What the fuck is going on?
你们去处理下巴尔巴诺的棺木
所以 So...
奥尔多和但丁是我的司机 Aldo and Dante are my drivers,
但你们到底是谁 but who are you, really?
-士兵 -是军队的 还是…… - Soldati. - For the Army or...
我没时间在这说废话
你还有什么要紧事要处理
关你屁事
你敢这么跟我说话
我做什么关你屁事
打扰一下 嗨 嗨 Scusi. Hi, hi.
我现在还很懵逼 Uh, I'm still in the dark here.
不是 这是种修辞 No, no, it's a figure of speech.
谁能告诉我到底是怎么回事吗 Can someone please just tell me what's going on?
你的祖父朱塞佩·巴尔巴诺 Your grandfather, Don Giuseppe Balbano,
愿他安息 may he rest in peace,
被罗马诺家族杀害了 was murdered by the Romanos.
我们请他们开会 We invited them for a meeting,
但事情出了差错 but things went wrong.
我们的老大和他们的老大都被杀了 Our Don and their Don got killed.
罗马诺家族今天来反击了
他们对葬礼不敬 They disrespected the funeral!
他们朝棺材开枪 They shot at the coffin!
一帮人渣
卡洛老大 Don Carlo.
你来了 尼可
你怎么会让法布里齐奥跑掉
走 滚远点
这帮混蛋
刺穿了我父亲的心脏
但我们把那副棺材打成了马蜂窝
全是洞
现在风水轮流转
所以我去和法布里齐奥见面 夺回我们的领地
现在是我们的时机
我们必须抢回地盘
妈宝 冷静点
现在我当家
由我决定如何向肮脏的巴尔巴诺家族复仇
-喝点酒冷静下 -好的 谢谢 To calm you down. - Okay, thank you, thank you.
谢谢 Grazie.
这酒不好 酒变质了 The wine's bad. The wine's gone bad. That's...
这不是好酒 只是个幌子 The wine is bad. It's a front.
天啊 他就是因此被杀的吗 Oh, God. Is that why he got murdered?
不 那太离谱了 所以是吗 No, that's crazy. I mean, is it?
你祖父 Your grandfather
不只是一个酿酒师 was not just a winemaker.
不是吗 No?
你好 克里斯汀·巴尔巴诺 Ciao, Kristin Balbano.
我是你祖父 朱塞佩·巴尔巴诺 I'm your grandfather, Giuseppe Balbano.
如果你正在看这个 If you are watching this...
说明我已经死了 I'm dead.
我很抱歉没有看着你成长 I'm sorry I never got to see you grow up,
但我更抱歉的是 but I am even more sorry
让你在成长过程中 that you grew up
失去了父亲 without a father.
我父亲死于一次建筑事故 My father died in a construction accident.
你父亲不是死于 Your father did not die
建筑事故 in a construction accident.
你父亲是被一个 Your father was killed
罗马诺家族的成员 by a member of the...
杀害的 Romano family.
这次事件过后 After this incident,
你母亲带你回了美国 your mother took you back to America
寻找一个更安全的地方 in search of a safer place.
嘿 Hey.
我告诉她最安全的地方 I told her that the safest place
就是和我们在一起 would be with us,
但我尊重她的意愿 but I respectedher wishes.
你不能和一位母亲作对 You do not cross a mother.
-这是你 -哦 - It's you. - Oh.
我还记得你出生的时候 I remember when you were born,
我把你抱在怀里 I held you in my arms...
然后想 总有一天 and I thought, "One day
她会成为一个勇敢自信的女人 "she will be a brave, confident woman
会让我感到骄傲 "who will make me proud."
和你告别 Saying goodbye to you,
我唯一的孙女 my only grandchild,
是我做过的最艰难的事 was the hardest thing I ever had to do.
还有 And so,
我的遗愿 my dying wish
就是你 is that you,
我的直系血亲 my direct bloodline,
接手 take over
担任巴尔巴诺家族的 and be the new boss
新老大 of the Balbano family.
他在说什么
我的亲信 比安卡 My trusted general, Bianca...
会在一旁协助你 ...will be by your side to help you.
克里斯汀 Kristin,
我知道你会尊重我的意愿 I know you will respect my wishes
就像我尊重你母亲的那样 as I respected your mother's.
你在干嘛
哦 这不是…… Oh, this isn't...
蠢货
笨蛋
去死吧
我觉得 不行 I think, uh, no.
我想这有点误会 I think there's been a bit of a mistake
因为我不可能…… because there is no way that I...
我 Me?
全是胡说八道
这是巴尔巴诺的遗愿 要尊重一下
我肯定你知道他所有的遗愿
对 你什么都知道
感谢大家 Thanks, everyone.
这让我大开眼界 This has been very informative,
但我下午五点要参观斗兽场 but I have a Colosseum tour at 5 p.m.,
-所以我要去叫计程车 -不 你不能走 - so I gotta go get a cab. - No, you can't leave.
如果老大说你是老大 If the boss says you are the boss,
-那你现在就是老大 懂吗 -是 是 - you are the boss now, comprende? - Yeah, yeah but
但你知道吗 我当不了老大 you know what? I am not a boss,
任何方面的都不行 like, not in any way, shape or form,
特别是黑手党的老大 so, you know, especially not in a Mafia kind of way.
你看 她都不想当老大
我才应该是老大 I should be the boss!
对 对 好主意 他应该当老大 Yes, yes. Good idea. He should be the boss.
我凭什么抢别人老大的风头 I mean, who am I to steal anyone's boss thunder?
而且我家里还有一堆破事 Besides, I've got a lot of shit going on at home,
我儿子刚去上大学 my son just went to college
我丈夫刚出轨了 所以…… and my husband just cheated on me, so...
你要我们去收拾他吗 嗯 You want we should take care of him? Hmm?
-嗯 -不 Mmm? - No!
不 No.
不 不 我只是需要度个假 No, God, no, no. I just need a vacation,
我想体验我自己的《美食 祈祷 做爱》 I just really want my Eat, Pray, Fuck!
美食 祈祷 做爱 Eat, Pray, Fuck?
对 这是个文字游戏 Yeah, it's a play on words,
你知道这本书吧 《美食 祈祷 恋爱》 you know, the book, Eat, Pray, Love?
对 这是本非常积极感人的回忆录 作者是 Yeah, it's a very uplifting and moving memoir by...
伊丽莎白·吉尔伯特 Elizabeth Gilbert.
没错 没错 看吧 他知道 Yes! Yes, see, he knows.
我想酿酒 我想吃意大利面 Yeah, I wanna make wine, and I wanna eat pasta,
想邂逅浪漫 and be romanced, and...
但你是来参加葬礼的 But you came for a funeral.
对 我是说 你知道的 Yeah. I mean, you know,
在葬礼过后 after the funeral.
喂 Hello?
洛伦佐 是洛伦佐 我得接这个电话 你好吗 Lorenzo. It's Lorenzo, I should take this. How are you?
-给我 -嘿 干嘛 不不不 - Give me this. - Hey, what? No. What? No, no, no, no!
天啊 我刚把钱还清 Oh, my God. I just paid that off!
我一年都不会换新手机 I won't get another upgrade for a year
洛伦佐要怎么联系我 and how is Lorenzo supposed to get in touch with me?
我怎么才能做爱 How will I ever have sex?
你不能随便和陌生人说话 You cannot be speaking to random strangers.
太危险了 It's too dangerous.
他不是陌生人 He's not a stranger,
他是大帅哥 he's gorgeous.
好吧 Okay.
你知道吗 You know what?
我不待了 I'm done.
再见 Bye.
克里斯汀 Kristin!
你不能逃避命运 You can't run away from your destiny.
是吗 你看我能不能 Oh, yeah? Watch me.
走哪边 Which way is it?
那边 It's that way!
但我要警告你 But I must warn you,
一旦你走出大门 once you walk out those gates,
我们就无法再保护你 you will no longer be under our protection.
而且你没有手机 Also, you have no phone.
你说过你想学 You said you wanted to learn
如何酿酒 对吗 how to make wine, yes?
我们现在有压榨葡萄的机器 We have machines to crush grapes now,
但这是经典的方式 but this is the classic way.
感觉确实很棒 This does feel kinda nice, huh?
你必须踩在葡萄上 You must stomp on the grapes
-让汁水流出来 -对 - to release their juices. - Yes.
你也必须接手 And you must also take over
担任巴尔巴诺家族的老大 as the Balbano family boss.
简直是疯了 This is insane.
我该从何开始 Where would I even begin?
嘘 过来 Shh. Come here.
我们真的是黑手党吗 Are we actually the Mafia?
你祖父更喜欢称之为 Your grandfather preferred to call it
“隐形家族” the "invisible family."
哦 太诡异了 Oh, that's spooky.
隐形但强大 Invisible but strong,
我们不能示弱 and we can't appear weakened.
所以你必须去和我们敌人见个面 So, you must go to a meeting with our enemies,
就是罗马诺家族 the Romanos.
就是之前朝我们开枪的那些人吗 What, the... the people who shot at us earlier?
哦 法布里齐奥不能去吗 Oh! I mean, can't Fabrizio go?
他看起来会喜欢这种事 It seems like he would love this stuff.
不能让法布里齐奥去 It can't be Fabrizio.
就是他挑起的枪战 He started the shootout.
他是个急性子 He's a hot-head
-脾气暴躁 -嗯 - with a horrible temper. - Hmm.
就像桑尼一样 Just like Sonny.
桑尼是谁 Who's Sonny?
《教父》里的 From The Godfather.
哦 对 我没看过《教父》 Oh, right. Yeah. I never saw The Godfather.
我的天啊 Oh, my God.
好吧 听着 真的很难抽出三个半小时 Okay, look, it's really hard to find three and a half hours.
你需要做的 All you need to do
就是把东部地区让一部分给他们的新老大 is offer their new Don a part of the east.
一些你祖父死不放手的东西 Something your grandfather was too stubborn to part with.
拜托了 我们需要一个头脑冷静 Please, we need someone who's level-headed,
会可怜人 empathetic
-不摆架子的人 -你刚是不是说我可怜 - and unassuming. - Did you just call me pathetic?
我们需要你 We need you.
不 我无法做好准备 不行 No, I will never be ready. No. No.
还有 我们会给你一个新手机 Also, we will give you a new phone...
噢 噢 噢 Oh. Oh, oh.
所以等我们调查完洛伦佐的背景 ...so you can go Eat, Pray, Fuck Lorenzo
你就可以和他《美食 祈祷 做爱》 once we finish the background check.
-背景调查 -没错 - Background check? Yeah.
洛伦佐·维拉古齐 33岁 Lorenzo Villaguzi, aged 33.
天啊 他还挺年轻 Oh, my God, he's quite young.
-男人至死是少年 -此话不假 - Men do it all the time. - That's true.
-他在米兰出生 -我们不喜欢这点 He's born in Milano. - Which we don't like.
是 但没关系 但丁 Yeah, but it's okay, Dante.
-是啊 但丁 -他最近刚离婚 - Yeah, Dante. - And he's recently divorced.
中大奖啦 天啊 Jackpot! Oh, my God!
-天呐 真是好消息 -这是你的新手机 - Oh, my God, that's really good news. - This is your new phone.
耶 Yee!
-无法被追踪 -好的 - It's untraceable. - Okay.
你今晚去见罗马诺老大 You meet with Don Romano tonight
然后你就可以对洛伦佐为所欲为 and then you can do what you want with Lorenzo.
成交吗 Deal?
噢 Oh...
额 Uh...
好的 成交 成交 Yes, deal. Deal.
有请新的巴尔巴诺女老大 Presenting the new Donna Balbano.
你看起来像是 You look like
图书馆的图书管理员 a librarian from a library,
不是色情片那种 not a porno.
亲爱的 跟我来 Darling, come with me.
再一次 Again,
有请美丽的巴尔巴诺女老大 presenting la bellissima Donna Balbano.
天啊 华伦天奴 Oh, my God, Valentino.
哈喽 Hello.
-是的 -转身 转身 - Yes. - Turn around, turn, turn.
嘿 Hey.
你就穿这身 And that's what you wear
去见黑帮老大 to meet a mob boss.
-你们会一直跟着我吧 -是的 - You guys are gonna stay with me the whole time, right? - Yes.
-当然 -别离开我 - Of course. - Okay, don't leave me.
别担心 克里斯汀 Don't worry, Kristin.
好的 Okay.
我是詹妮娜 今晚为您服务 I'm Giannina. I'll be your server tonight.
-哦 我喜欢你的眼镜 詹妮娜 -谢谢 - Oh, I love your glasses, Giannina. - Thank you.
这是给您放包的 This is for your bag.
哦 好可爱 小猴猴 Oh, it's so cute. Little monkey.
好吧 All right.
谢谢你 Thank you.
你不是法布里齐奥 You're not Fabrizio.
你也不是我期待的样子 And you are not what I was expecting.
我听说我要见的是 I was told I would be meeting
巴尔巴诺家族的新老大 with the new Balbano family boss.
对 就是我 Yeah, that's me.
克里斯汀 新老大 Kristin. The new boss.
这是在逗我吗
你要我和一个美国女人谈判
她可不是普通的美国女人 卡洛老大
她是克里斯汀·巴尔巴诺
朱塞佩·巴尔巴诺老大的孙女
啊 Ah.
抱歉我失礼了 I apologize for my rudeness.
没关系 Oh, no, not at all.
但你知道 But, you know...
我突然看到个大美人 有点震惊 it was... it was a bit of a shock to see a beautiful woman.
别说了 Stop.
抱歉 我叫卡洛·罗马诺 Oh, I'm sorry. I am Carlo Romano,
新老大 the new boss.
那就对了 我们都是新老大 Oh, well, there you go. We're both new bosses,
有很多共同点 we have so much in common.
你看他们 Look at that.
所以你怎么想的 So, what were you thinking?
我想尝尝意大利团子 I was hoping to try gnocchi.
我喜欢团子 I love gnocchi
我答应过自己 如果我到了意大利 and I promised myself if I ever came to Italy,
我要吃团子吃到撑 I would eat as much gnocchi as I could.
不不不 No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
-我是说领地 -嗯 - I meant the territories. - Hmm?
哦 对啊 对不起 我…… Oh, right, yes. Sorry, I...
好的 谷歌 Okay, Google,
打开记事本 open notes. Um,
你可以要北部地区 so you can take the north and...
和东部的部分地区 一直到福尔米亚 part of the east extending to... Form-i-a?
福尔米亚 Formia.
对 Yes.
就是这样 That's it.
服务员
谢谢你 詹妮娜 Thank you, Giannina.
她真可爱 She's sweet.
我点了菜单上所有的意大利团子 I ordered every gnocchi on the menu.
天呐 有人听进去了 Oh, my God, someone's a good listener.
普雷戈 Prego.
好吧 Oh... Well...
尝尝 Try.
你想让我先尝 You... You want me to try it first?
对 Yeah.
没问题 好的 Well, no pressure. Okay.
很好喝 That is delicious.
这是我这辈子喝过的最棒的酒 This is the best wine I have ever had in my life.
干杯 Salute.
听好 听好 听好 是奥利奥 Listen, listen, listen. It's Oreo.
它们是两块粘在一起的巧克力饼干 They're two chocolate biscuits held together...
用的奶油 with cream?
奶油 奶油是我最爱吃的部分 The cream... The cream is my favorite part.
听着 Uh, listen...
关于你的提议 um, about your offer.
你确定我们的地盘只能到福尔米亚吗 Are you sure we have to stop at Formia? Hmm?
嗯 我记事本上是这么写的 Hmm, well, that's what it says in my notes.
当然了 Of course.
你记事本上 In your notes.
你喜欢柠檬酒吗 Do you like limoncello?
哦 我更喜欢樱桃果冻 Oh, I'm more of a cherry jello person.
不不不 柠檬酒 Oh. No, no, no. Limoncello.
是一种甜品酒 It is, um, it is a dessert liquor.
哦 我不知道 Oh. Oh, no, I don't know it.
我们去我的酒店房间尝尝 就在楼上 We'll have it in my hotel room. Upstairs.
嗯 Hmm?
一切正常 老大
All clear, boss.
好的 你们可以在外边等着 Okay. Well, um, you guys can wait outside
我们把事情办完 while we finish our business.
我们认为这不太可取 We don't think this is a good idea.
你会对男性黑帮老大这样说吗 不会 Would you say that to a male mob boss? No.
拜托 我已经三年没开荤了 Please! It's been three long years. Come on.
谢谢 太好了 Thank you. Yes!
再见 Ciao.
来吧 天啊 Oh, come on. Oh, my God.
你知道吗 我觉得我憋不住了 Oh, you know what? I don't think I can hold on.
我尿急 I've just gotta pee real quick.
我知道 对不起 I know. I'm sorry.
我很快解决 来吧 I'll make it real quick. Come on. Ah!
好的 All right.
好的 Okay.
行了 Right.
感觉好多了 So much better.
她来了 There she is.
噢 Oh.
等等 等等 Wait, wait, wait, wait.
很抱歉 我必须回个消息 Oh, so sorry, I must take this.
没关系 没关系 Oh, no, it's fine. It's fine.
-等等 -好的 - Wait. - I will.
要杀了他们吗
不 等我信号
我们再来 Let's try this again.
哦 好的 Oh, okay.
干杯 Salute.
哦 真棒 Oh, Oh, yeah.
天啊 如果你三天前告诉我 Oh, my God. If you told me three days ago
我会在意大利的酒店房间 that I would be in a hotel room in Italy with a
和帅气的黑帮老大在一起 handsome mob boss,
我会说你疯了 then I would say you are crazy.
但我真的来了 But here I am!
是的 是的 但不会持续太久 Yes. Yes, but not for long.
别提醒我 我周末要飞回家 Oh, don't remind me. I fly home at the end of the week
但我还有很多想看的 and there's still so much I wanna see.
我想去阿马尔菲海岸 庞贝 I wanna go to the Amalfi coast. Pompei.
梵蒂冈 The Vaticano!
可惜你看不到这些了 Too bad you won't see any of those things.
不能吗 为什么 因为我们会忙着滚床单吗 Oh, no? Why? Because we'll be too busy making love?
罗马诺老大不会和死人滚床单 Don Romano does not make love to dead women.
什么 What?
我在你酒里下的毒 The poison I put in your drink
现在应该已经流到了心脏 should be travelling to your heart by now.
-天呐 -很快 - Oh, my God. - Soon,
你的肺会衰竭 your lungs will collapse.
苍天啊 Oh, my God.
天啊 不 Oh, my God. No...
嘿 奥尔多 Hey, Aldo!
你是巴尔巴诺家的 You are a Balbano.
我叔叔杀了你父亲 My uncle killed your father.
总有一天 你会来找我和我的家人报仇 One day you will come for me and the rest of my family.
最终 我们会冤冤相报 Eventually, we all seek revenge...
就像维托·柯里昂 like Vito Corleone.
我没看过《教父》 I never saw The Godfather.
不 这是《教父2》里的 No! It was The Godfather Part Two!
好的 好的 Okay, okay.
愚蠢的美国女人 Stupid American woman!
你家里乱成一团 Your family is in chaos.
罗马诺家族很快就会是这里唯一的…… Soon the Romanos will be the only...
南方家庭 ...southern family here...
在…… in... in...
在拉齐奥区 ...in Lazio.
你没事吧 Are you okay?
我没事吧 Am I okay?
我没事 I'm okay.
天啊 Oh, my God.
对了 Right.
你回消息的时候 我交换了酒杯 I switched our glasses while you were on the phone.
对不起 I'm so sorry.
只是你给我倒的更多 It's just that you poured me a way bigger portion
我又不知道我是否会喜欢柠檬酒 and I didn't know if I was gonna like limoncello.
我不想失礼 因为 And I didn't wanna be rude because,
我通常不喜欢柠檬味的东西 typically I don't like lemon-flavored things.
我想是因为我小时候吃了太多柠檬味的奥格门汀 I think it's because I took a lot of lemon-flavored Augmentin when I was a child.
那是种抗生素 而且很恶心 It's an antibiotic and it's really disgusting.
哦 Oh.
三年呐 Three years.
-喔 -啊 - Ooh. - Ah.
天啊 我该怎么办 Oh, my God! What do I do?
我该怎么办 What do I do?
珍妮 天啊 当然了 Jenny. Oh, my God, yeah, of course.
珍妮 珍妮 拜托 珍妮 Jenny, Jenny, Jenny. Please, Jenny, please.
请接电话 拜托了 Please answer the phone. Please, please God.
拜托接电话 Oh, please answer. Okay.
-斯温 对 -哦 Sven. Yeah. [OVER PHONE] Oh.
我建议你接受认罪协议 了结此事
好的 考虑下吧 Okay, think about it.
-好的 珍妮 -好的 - Okay, Jenny. - Yeah. Okay.
嘿 嘿 找到意大利帅哥没 Hey, hey. Find any hot Italian men yet?
找到了 洛伦佐 Uh, yes. Lorenzo.
-你睡了他吗 -他想杀我 - You fuck him yet? - Uh, he tried to kill me. And...
用屌杀吗 With his penis?
什么 不是 用毒药 What? No, no, with poison. I...
有毒的屌 A poisoned penis?
慢点说 洛伦佐做了什么 Slow down. Lorenzo did what?
不 不是洛伦佐 是卡洛 No, no. Not Lorenzo. Carlo.
等等 卡洛又是谁 Wait, who the fuck is Carlo?
天啊 他是个超性感的黑帮老大 Oh, my God. He is this super-hot mob boss
我和他吃了晚餐 但他后来想毒死我 who I had dinner with. But then he tried to poison me.
所以我交换了酒杯 So, I switched our drinks.
现在他死了 And now he's dead.
我会因此坐牢吗 Could I go to jail for this?
不会 交换毒酒 No. A little poison switch-a-roo?
这是典型的自卫 It's classic self-defense.
苍天啊 我杀了个黑手党老大 Oh, my God, I killed a Mafia boss.
我死定了 I am a dead woman.
里面还好吗 Everything okay in there?
天呐 Oh, my God.
啊 Ah!
你也太不会装死了 You are terrible at playing dead.
谢天谢地 是你啊 Oh, thank God. Oh, thank God, it's you.
-谢谢你 非常感谢 -克里斯汀 别这样 - Oh, thank you. Oh, thank you so much. - Kristin, please stop.
天啊 太谢谢了 Oh, my God. Thank you.
你口袋里是奶油煎饼卷吗 Is that a cannoli in your pocket?
-所以你上了他 -没有 他先断气了 So you fucked him? No, he died first.
你错过了一些事 You missed something.
他来的时候 像个女人一样尖叫 When he came, he screamed like a woman.
你 说得对 You... Right.
嗯 我想那应该很有趣 Um, well, I guess that might have been fun?
-你洗了个澡 -是的 - You took a shower? - Yes.
我洗澡是因为这通常能让我冷静 但…… I took a shower because it usually calms me down, but...
我以前从没见过尸体 I've never seen a dead body before.
现在我见到三个 三个 And now I've seen three. Three!
我一直过着枯燥的生活 I mean, I live a very boring life.
我是个无趣的人 无趣的女人 I am such a boring person. I'm a boring woman.
说真的 我这辈子什么都没做 我不出去 Seriously, I don't do anything with my life. I don't go out.
我只为别人做事 I just do everything for everybody else.
这些禽兽会不择手段 Those monsters will stop at nothing
将我们赶尽杀绝 until we're all dead
然后成为拉齐奥区唯一的家族 and they're the only family in Lazio.
我有个主意 我觉得我应该回家 I have an idea. I think I should go home.
我认为我不属于这里 I don't think I belong here.
-你没听见我说吗 -什么 - Did you not hear me? - What?
如果你现在离开 他们会跟着你 If you leave now, they will follow you
你死之前他们不会放过你 and they will not stop until you're dead.
这很好 This is good.
怎么会 这哪里好了 How? How is this good?
这可以让罗马诺家族知道 我们家族不是好惹的 This will send a message to the Romanos that our family is strong.
你是老大 老大要负责生意 You're the boss. And the boss takes care of business.
你做的很好 You did good.
什么 我杀了人 What? I murdered someone!
-真棒 -真棒 - Brava. - Brava.
不不不 No, no, no, no.
别说我棒 我很坏 我做了坏事 Do not "brava" me. I am bad. I did a bad thing.
天啊 我只是想体验《美食 祈祷 恋爱》 Oh, my God, I just want my Eat, Pray, Love.
他干嘛 What is he...
永别了 卡洛 Ciao, Carletto.
你们父亲死了
这表示
我成了新老大
我们小瞧了这个美国女人
布鲁诺 Bruno!
事情必须今晚结束
你去处理
乐意至极
嗯 Mmm.
哥斯达黎加产的
我们要先下手为强 杀掉罗马诺的人 We have to kill those Romanos before they kill us!
我是说故意杀人 And I mean on purpose!
不再靠意外拯救世界 No more accidentally saving the day!
你可以对我友好点 You could be a little nicer to me, you know.
我刚杀了人 I just killed someone.
我是个大好人 一个好母亲 I'm a very good person. I'm a good mother.
我会为儿子做任何事 I would do anything for my son.
为大家尽心尽力 I do everything for everyone.
甚至是动物 我连虫子都不杀 Even animals, I can't even kill a bug.
我用杯子盖住 拿到外面 I put it under a little cup, and I take it outside,
然后说 去吧 享受自由 过你的生活 and whisper, "Go. Be free. Go live your life."
我想象它们建新窝 过新生活 And I imagine them building a new home and a new life.
我们怎么才能显得强大 就她这种 How are we supposed to appear strong when she is...
样子 this?
罗马诺的人永远不会和谈 These Romanos will never negotiate peace on good terms.
我们为什么要谈判 为什么不直接满足他们 Why are we negotiating at all? Why don't we just give them what they want?
他们想控制我们所有的地盘 They want control over all of our territories.
所以为什么不干脆给他们 So, why don't we just give it to them?
你指望我们怎么赚钱 How do you expect us to make money?
我不知道 I don't know!
我们到底是做什么的 What is it we do, anyway?
-毒品 -假包 Drugs. Counterfeit bags.
枪支 赌博 Guns. Gambling.
目前我还没有听到任何合法 Uh, so far I have heard nothing that is either legal
或正当的东西 or moral.
因为 你知道 Because... you know,
我们是黑手党 we are the fucking Mafia!
你 You...
别管他 他只是需要发泄一下 Let him go. He just needs to blow off some steam.
是吗 我也需要 我完全不知所措 Oh, yeah? So do I. I am completely overwhelmed!
这本该是我的假期 This is supposed to be my vacation.
-你在干什么 -我在约洛伦佐 - What are you doing? - I'm confirming my date
因为这是说好的 with Lorenzo because that was the deal.
但我们正处于战争之中 But we are in the middle of a war.
不 你处于战争之中 No. You are in the middle of a war.
我受够了为别人做事 I am sick of doing everything for everybody else!
我要为我自己做点事 I'm gonna do something for me.
你现在不能去公共场合 You cannot be in public right now.
我不会去公共场合 Oh, I'm not going to be in public.
我要去他家吃晚餐 I'm going to have dinner at his place.
他既单纯又可爱 He is simple and adorable.
我只想和他独处 And... I just wanna be alone with him.
他们是我堂兄弟 These are my cousins.
我的家庭非常保守 I come from a very conservative family
他们想保护…… and they wanna protect...
我的贞操 my virtue.
行 我也还是处女
快进来吃饭吧
我想这会是个家庭聚餐 请进 I guess it will be a family affair. Please.
好的 谢谢 Okay. Thank you.
-很高兴见到你 -很高兴见到你 - It's good to see you. - It's so good to see you.
嗨 谢谢你邀请我们进来 屋子很漂亮 Hi. Thank you for having us in your home which is beautiful.
-欢迎来到我姑妈家 -天啊 太不可思议了 - Welcome to my aunt's place. Oh, my God, it's totally magical.
是啊 Yeah.
他是谁 看起来像淘气的小霍比特人 Who is this? He looks like such a naughty little hobbit.
-这是我叔叔 埃内斯托 -哦 - Yeah. It's my uncle, Ernesto. - Oh.
-他最近过世了 -哦 我很遗憾 - He recently died. - Oh, I'm so sorry.
我们也是 所以我搬了进来 Yes, we are. That's why I moved in.
-我明白 -但是我 - Oh, I see. - But I am
今年要给我自己的意面系列命名 naming my own pasta line this year.
-这是你的意面系列 -是的 - This is your pasta line? - It is.
天呐 真令人兴奋 Oh, my God, that is so exciting.
你们看啊 这是他的 You guys, look at this. This is his.
天啊 我以前从没吃过 Oh, Lord in Heaven, I have never eaten
自制的意面 homemade pasta before.
嗯 太好吃了 Mmm, so good.
你知道 这很棒 You know, it's... it's nice
和一个欣赏我厨艺的女人在一起 to be with a woman who appreciates my cooking.
我前妻从没这样过 Yeah. My ex never did.
啊 她听起来真不是人 Ah, she sounds like a monster.
不 我不是故意又提起她的 算了吧 Oh, no. I didn't mean to bring her up again. Forget it.
不 没关系的 我能理解 No, it's okay. I get it.
我是说 我丈夫 我前夫 I mean, my husband, my ex-husband
是个十足的大男孩 was a total man-child.
他任何事都以自己为中心 I mean, he made everything about himself.
他的乐队 他俗气的歌词 And his band and his cheesy lyrics.
听上去好可怕 That sounds horrible.
我让自己相信 I'd convinced myself that
他的热情比我更重要 像个傻瓜似的 his passion was more important than mine. Like an idiot.
即使我们还有儿子 But even with our son,
和保罗离婚 我发誓 divorcing Paul, I swear to God,
这是我做过的最棒的决定 it was the best decision I ever made.
哦 你还有孩子 Oh, you have a child?
是的 是的 我给你看 他在这 Yes! Yes, I'll show you. Here he is.
看吧 这是多米尼克 我的孩子 There. That's Domenick. He's my baby.
他是个好孩子 He's a really good kid.
最后一口 Last bite.
给我吗 For me?
给最珍贵的人 没错 The most precious. Yes.
好的 Okay.
哦 你的意面 Oh, your pasta.
是我吃过的最棒的食物 It's the greatest thing I've ever had in my mouth.
-啊哈 -是的 - Uh-huh. - Yeah.
要亲快亲 我要睡觉了
你堂兄没意见吧 Are your cousins okay with this?
他们没事 吻我 Yeah, they're fine. Just kiss me.
靠 不不不 Shit. No, no, no.
天啊 我给忘了 Oh, God, I forgot.
我要开个工作视频会议 I've got this work Zoom meeting.
天啊 堂兄们 Oh, my God. Cousins!
我得走了 改天吧 对不起 我只是…… I have to go. Rain check? I'm sorry. I just...
这个会议非常重要 It's a really important meeting that I...
我完全忘记了 I totally forgot about it. Um...
谢谢你招待我们 我会打给你的 Thank you for having us. I will call you.
真不敢相信 这蠢工作 I can't believe this. Stupid work.
这么多年来我第一次享受生活 I'm enjoying myself for the first time in years,
却不得不开这愚蠢的工作会议 and I have to do this dumb work Zoom.
拜托 辞职吧 你现在是老大了 Come on. Quit your job. You are a boss now.
哦 我不能辞职 大家还指望着我 Oh. I can't just quit my job. People are counting on me.
-嗯 -妈 Hmm. Ma.
你还好吗 回答我 告诉我你没事
别让我担心你
你怎么样
妈 Ma.
你没事吧 Are you okay?
我妈妈又头晕了 My mother had another dizzy spell
她现在没有药 好吗 and she has no more medication now. Okay. Okay?
她负担不起 医保不包括这些美国新药 She can't afford it. The SSN doesn't cover these new American drugs.
那些混蛋不给她药
我认识一个药剂师 I know a pharmacist.
我们明天去找他 好吗 We go tomorrow, okay?
不 你们应该今晚就去 快去处理吧 No, no, you should go tonight. Go take care of it tonight.
是 但我们必须保护你 Yeah, but we must protect you.
-他说的对 -不 家人第一 - He is right. - No, family first.
我没事的 没问题 I'm okay. I'll be fine.
哦 克里斯汀 Oh, Kristin.
你能帮忙把这些 Would you mind to put this
-放进冰箱吗 -当然 - into the fridge, please? - Yes, sure.
快啊 这么晚了 Come on. So late.
好的 Okay.
开始吧 Here we go.
噢 Oh.
我不能穿这个 我这是…… 天啊 I can't wear this. Oh, what am I... Oh, God.
啊 对 Ugh, right. Uh...
快啊 快啊 Come on, hurry, quick, quick!
好的 Okay.
嘿 真高兴你终于来开会了 Hey, nice of you to finally join us.
抱歉 Sorry, the...
时差有点大 所以…… the time difference is a little crazy, so...
所以瑞蓝玻尿酸进展如何 So, where are we with Restylane?
对 是的 首先 Right, yes, okay. Um, so first:
瑞蓝让女人自我感觉良好 对吧 Restylane makes women feel great about themselves, right?
所以我想以一个女人为开场 So, I was thinking we open on a woman
独自喝着美酒 alone, drinking some fine wine,
热切地读着旅游手册 longingly perusing a travel brochure.
我没听到任何吸引人的元素 Mmm. I'm not really hearing anything that pops.
你得在一开始就抓住观众 I mean, you know, you gotta grab them in the first few seconds.
但我才刚开始 But I just started.
嘿 你知道谁最擅长这个吗 Hey, you know who's really great at this?
即兴说说 给我们表演下兰迪的绝活 Just riff, give us some of that Randy magic.
屏蔽她 Go ahead and mute her.
好吧 All right.
救命 Help me!
我只是吐槽 好吧 And I'm just spitballing, all right.
但我在想 骑水上摩托的女人 But I'm thinking, woman on a jet-ski?
这很新颖 Aw, that's fresh.
是 但如何进入正题 Yeah, but how do we get there?
不 救命啊 No! S.O.S.!
我们用这个迷人但年老的女人开场 We open up on this attractive but, you know, older woman.
不要太老吧 Not too old, right?
救救我 Help me!
天呐 不不不 求你了 Oh, my God! No, no, no, no, no, please.
我在考虑性感火辣 四十出头的角色 懂我意思吗 I'm thinking tight, hot, early forties type role, you know what I'm saying?
天啊 Oh, my God.
你比你祖父迷人多了 You are much more attractive than your grandfather.
我勒个去 Oh, my God.
不 不 不 No! No, no!
她像普通人一样 自顾自地穿过沙漠 So, you know, she minding her business, walking through the desert like people do.
对于脸上刻满岁月痕迹的疲惫女人来说 That's a great metaphor for a tired woman
这是一个很好的比喻 with a face that's so marked by time.
嗯 Mmm.
坐下 Sit down!
不不不 求你别杀我 No, no, no. Please don't.
求你别伤害我 不要 Please don't hurt me. Please. No, no.
天啊 不 不准进入 打死我也不从 Oh, God, no. No entrata. Absolutely no entrata. No.
你喜欢辣香肠吗 You like salsiccia e friarelli?
不 不要香肠 我是严格的素食主义者 不要 谢谢 No. No sausages. I'm strictly vegetariano. No, thank you.
很辣哦 Very spicy.
辣 苍天啊 大地啊 不 Spicy? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. No!
求你不要 Please, no. Please don't. No.
不要 求你不要 No, no, no. Please don't.
不要啊 No, no, no.
该死的皮带 Fucking belt.
她看起来很孤独 看起来…… She looks lonely. She looks...
-看起来暴露年龄 -确实 - She looks her age, bro. - She does.
女人不该显露年龄 No woman should look her age.
胯 眼 Crotch! Eye!
就像天降祝福 And like a blessing from the heavens,
以天空开场 开始降雨 the sky opens up and it starts to rain.
然后她低头一看 意识到 Then she looks down and she realizes,
天啊 我在骑水上摩托 "Oh, my God, I'm on a jet-ski."
瑞蓝丽缇让她重返青春 Restylane Lyft gives her a second youth.
-对 -生命的回归 Yeah. - A return to life.
我喜欢那个姿势 I love that pose.
胯 胯 Crotch! Crotch!
眼 胯 Eye! Crotch!
瑞蓝Kysse丰盈了她的嘴唇 Restylane Kysse plumps her lips.
胯 眼 Crotch! Eye!
让人想亲吻 Makes them kissable.
重拾性感 Rejuvenated.
有水 有湿润 You got water, you got wetness.
多多的湿润 Whole lot of wetness.
去你的 Fuck you!
你上次看到这样的大腿沟是什么时候 When was the last time you saw a thigh gap like that?
去你妈的 兰迪 Fuck you, Randy!
-她诱人亲吻 -去你妈的 韦恩 - Now she's kissable. - Oh, fuck you, Wayne!
-哇哦 -去你妈的 汉克 - Wow. - Oh, fuck you, Hank!
还有你 你个死变态 And you, you fucking creepy pervert!
去你妈的 Fuck you!
然后她就骑向远方 And then she just rides off into the distance.
柔软 年轻 Soft, youthful...
湿润 ...and wet.
兰迪 太棒了 Randy, that was superb.
好的 Okay.
看到没 克里斯汀 See that, Kristin?
就该这样做 That's how it's done.
取消屏蔽 Unmute.
克里斯汀 Kristin.
嘿 告诉我你听到了兰迪的推销 Hey, tell me you heard Randy's pitch.
噢 克里斯汀 Oh, Kristin?
你喝醉了吗 Are you drunk?
天呐 我真的希望这一天不要来 Oh, man. I really hoped this day would never come
但我不得不辞掉你 but I'm gonna have to let you go.
顺便说一句 你脸上沾了些面酱 By the way, you have some pasta sauce on your face.
你知道吗 You know what?
去你妈的 Fuck you!
哇哦 就是这么表示感激的 Whoa! That's gratitude for you.
-完全没必要 -有毒 - Highly unnecessary. - Toxic.
天呐 Oh, God.
嗯 Hmm?
你把别墅弄得一团糟 You left quite a mess at the villa.
这种事你得告诉我们 You need to tell us when things like this happen,
这样我们就不必担心 so we don't have to worry
你是死是活 whether or not you are currently alive.
行 下次有人想杀我时 Oh, fine. So, next time someone tries to murder me,
我一定会告诉你 I'll be sure to let you know.
谢谢 Grazie.
现在 罗马诺家族想今天见面 Now, the Romanos want to meet today.
好让他们再杀我一次吗 呵 Oh, so they can try to kill me again? Huh!
我还以为你做爱之后 会冷静一点 I thought once you'd had sex, you would calm down a bit.
嘿 我才来两天 Hey, I've been here two days
就差点被杀两次 and I've been almost murdered twice.
每天一次 That's one per day.
我需要做更多的爱才能冷静 I'm gonna need a lot more sex to calm me down!
我认识个男的 I know a man.
拜托别再说你堂兄弟了 Stop with your cousin, please.
他们准备做出一些让步 They're prepared to make some concessions.
我们占据上风 We have the upper hand.
他们同意举行一次公开会议 They've agreed to a public meeting.
法布里齐奥会在那里陪你 Fabrizio will be there with you.
我不能去 因为仅限家族人员 I can't be there because it's only family.
行 但我想在“冰激凌作坊店”见面 Fine. But I wanna meet at La Bottega del Gelato
因为它有五星评级 because it has a five-star rating.
我从没吃过意大利冰淇淋 想去的不得了 And I never have gelato. And I have been dying to go!
-但我们已经…… -这是命令 - But we have... - That's an order!
嗯 嗯 Mmm. Mmm!
听着 我厌倦了这场战争 Look, I am tired of this war.
天啊 猫途鹰说的果然不假 Oh, my gosh, Tripadvisor does not lie.
我的家族厌倦了这场战争 My family is tired of this war.
必须停止 It's got to stop.
我们举双手赞成 We couldn't agree more.
你杀了我们的老大和最顶尖的杀手 You killed our boss, and our best killer.
全凭你一个人 All by yourself.
你关于福尔米亚的提议还有效吗 Does your offer for Formia stand?
是的 当然有效 Yes. Absoluto.
所以我们和平相处了吗 妈宝 So, we are at peace then, Mammone?
不准叫我妈宝 臭小子
我们和平相处 We are at peace...
巴尔巴诺老大 Donna Balbano.
噢 Oh.
那就这样了 Well, there you go.
能再给我来一勺吗 Can I get another scoop?
爸爸认为我们也该去意大利
啊 我也想 但我太忙了
你真让我刮目相看 You really impressed me.
哦 是啊 这个会议 Oh, yeah, the meeting
比我想象的更顺利 went better than I thought it would.
因为你威慑到他们了 Because you terrified them.
昨晚堪称艺术 Last night was a true work of art.
你有脾气 克里斯汀 You have rage, Kristin.
狂野 Wild,
激情 狂怒 passionate, deep rage.
我喜欢 I like it.
好的 Okay.
你知道 布鲁诺身上不只是血 You know, it wasn't just blood on Bruno.
他被捣成了糊糊 It was mushy, thick.
眼窝里还塞着他的阴囊碎块 Bits of his scrotum were stuffed in his eye socket.
嗯 Mmm.
所以他们才会听你的 And that's why they listened to you.
因为他的眼窝里塞着他的阴囊碎块吗 Because he had bits of his scrotum stuffed in his eye socket?
可能吧 Maybe.
所以你才赢得了尊重 And that's how you earned rispetto.
你会完美融入这个家族 You'll fit right into this family!
把手给我 Give me your hand.
干嘛 What, uh...
哦 不 你不必这样 Oh, no. Oh, no, you don't have to.
-要的 -你应该…… 不不 - Yeah. - You should... No, no.
手指太粗了 我不…… Oh, it's too big. I don't...
嗯 Mmm.
好的 真合适 Yeah, it fits pretty well.
现在 And now...
给我来点咆哮 give me some "grrrr."
像猎豹一样 Be the leopard!
什么 What, uh...
不 不 No, no.
不 不 不 No, no, no.
不是吐毛球 不是咖啡机 No fur ball. No espresso machine.
只是…… Just...
就这个 就这个 This one. This one. This one.
再见 Bye.
好 谢谢你 Okay. Thank you.
老天爷啊 Oh, my God.
什么鬼啊 What the fuck?
在逗我吗 Are you kidding me?
天啊 Oh, God.
噢 比安卡 Oh, Bianca.
你知道 一个月前 You know, a month ago,
我在长滩给流浪汉提供食物 I was feeding the homeless in Long Beach.
我是说 我一直扶老人过马路 I mean, I help old people cross the road all the time.
我是个好人 I am a good person.
你当然是 你带来了和平 Of course you are. You made peace.
是 但代价是什么 我觉得自己像迈克尔·科利昂 Yeah, but at what cost? I feel like Michael Corleone.
你看了那部电影 You saw the movie?
没有 我看了维基百科的摘要 No. I read the Wikipedia summary.
克里斯汀 世界不是非黑即白 Kristin, the world isn't black and white.
你祖父照顾了我的家庭 Your grandfather took care of my family.
他供我母亲上学 He put my mother through school
-给我们提供食宿 -哈 - and gave us shelter and food. - Huh.
还给我买了这条腿 And bought me this leg.
我欠他很多 I owe him everything.
我意思是 就算你是黑手党老大 My point is, just because you're a Mafia boss,
也不代表你就要当坏人 doesn't mean you have to be a bad person.
对 对 Right. Right.
等等 你说你的腿怎么了 Wait, what did you say about your leg?
我13岁的时候 我的小摩托被卡车撞了 When I was 13, a truck hit my Vespa.
天啊 Oh, my God!
所有小孩都嘲笑我 All the kids made fun of me.
噢 Oh.
但巴尔巴诺老大带着一个大箱子来到我家 But Don Balbano came to our house with a big box.
他给我带了一条假腿 And he brought me a prosthetic leg.
改变了我的生活 It changed my life.
哇哦 我是说 天啊 Wow. I mean, jeez, I...
我都没有…… I didn't even...
看不出来 看上去好逼真 Couldn't tell. Looks so real.
瑞士精密技术 Precision Swiss technology.
-每五年升级一次 -啊 - Upgraded every five years. - Huh.
所以克里斯汀 我就是活生生的例子 So, Kristin, I'm living proof
你可以用你的权力做很多好事 that you can do a lot of good with the power you have.
这不是迷失自我 It's not about losing yourself.
而是成为自己 It's about becoming yourself.
但如果这不是你想要的 你可以离开 But if this isn't what you want, you can leave.
我可以吗 I can?
你创造了和平 You made peace.
你可以回家过你以前的生活 You can go home to your old life.
做以前的自己 To the old you.
哦 不 我不想做回以前的我 Oh, no, I don't wanna go back to that me.
我不喜欢那个自己 我不要 I don't like that one. No, I don't think so.
那你想做什么 Then what do you wanna do?
嗯 Well,
我们在做进出口生意 是吧 we're involved in an import/export business, right?
嗯哼 Mmm-hmm.
嗯 Hmm.
我想我有个主意 I think I have an idea.
这是双赢 对吧 It's a win-win, right?
因为我们保持低价 Because we keep prices low
把药物卖给那些负担不起 and we sell medications to people in Italy
正常药价的意大利人 that they can't usually find at a reasonable rate.
因为这不仅仅是盈利 Because it's not just about profit.
也是在帮助别人 对吧 It's about helping people, right?
我只是在想 I was just thinking.
我们在一起几个月了 We've been together a few months now
我还没去过你家 and I have never been to your place.
你还是遮遮掩掩的 You're still quite secretive.
我没有遮遮掩掩 I am not secretive.
我没有 过来 我要拍张照 I'm not. Come here, I'm gonna take a photo
我们和梵蒂冈合个影 of us and the Vaticano.
-好 准备 -好的 Right. Ready? - Okay.
-耶 -耶 - Yay.- Yay.
好了 现在我要发朋友圈 There. Okay. And now I am posting it.
马上发 好了 Immediately. There.
发出去了 搞定 There we are. Done.
-好的 -嗯哼 - Okay. - Mmm-hmm.
尼克 我的天啊 Nicky. Oh, my God,
我好想你 是我儿子 I miss you so much. It's my son.
那家伙是谁 Who's the dude?
额 他是我的意面师父 Uh, he is my pasta teacher.
我们只是去买中筋面粉 We're just out buying double zero flour.
好的 我要去上课了 我爱你 Okay. I gotta go to class. Um, I love you.
我也爱你 I love you.
意面师父 老实说 我觉得 Pasta teacher? Honestly, I just feel like
你对我有所隐瞒 you're not telling me something.
-真的吗 -你不相信我吗 - Oh, really? - Don't you trust me?
-别这么说 -你不相信我吗 - Stop it. - Don't you trust me?
别说笑了 Don't even joke.
你什么都可以告诉我 You can tell me anything.
我爱你 I love you.
天啊 保罗 Oh, my God. Paul?
-你那位保罗吗 -那个保罗 - Your Paul? - That Paul?
放开我 这些家伙是什么人 Get off me! Who the hell are these guys?
你在这里干什么 What the hell are you doing here?
我飞过来找你 我看到你的朋友圈了 I flew here to find you. I saw your Insta.
该死 我发了张蠢照 Dammit. I post one stupid photo.
他比我想象的要弱得多 He's much weaker than I imagined.
我本来就想的是个弱鸡 And I imagined someone very weak.
-保罗是谁 -我是他老公 - Who's Paul? - I'm her husband!
不 No...
-你是已婚 -不 我们分居了 - You are married? - No, we are separated.
听着 我能看出你是个帅小伙 Look, I can see you're a pretty handsome guy
也有很棒的性生活 and you've been having some great sex...
但丁 把他带回别墅 Dante, please take him back to the villa.
-快点 保罗 走吧 -什么 放开我 - Come on, Paul. Let's go. - What, what? Let me go.
所以他都能去你家 而我不能 So he gets to go to your place, but I can't?
不 不是这样的 No, it's not like that. No.
你跟我说你离婚了 You told me you were divorced.
我们可以离婚 Well, we may as well be.
他是个出轨的坏老公 He's a horrible husband who cheated on me.
-不 不 -不 我是说 - No. No. - No, I mean...
我好不容易又相信人 It's taken me so long to trust again.
-我真的很在乎你 -不 不 - And I really care about you. - No, no.
我也在乎你 非常在乎你 I... I care about you. I care about you so much.
那我们就坦诚相待 Then let's be honest with each other.
你还有什么事瞒着我吗 Is there anything else you are keeping from me?
-嗯 -额 - Hmm? - Um...
天呐 额 Oh, my God. Um...
对不起 我必须去处理这事 I'm so sorry, I really do have to go deal with this.
-好吗 对不起 -当然 去吧 - Okay? I'm sorry. - Sure, go.
-没关系 -下次见 - It's okay. - I'll see you.
-该死的 保罗 -坐回去 God dammit, Paul. Just stay back!
我要尿尿 拜托 I need to pee, please.
-你们做了什么 -我封了他的嘴 - What did you guys do? - I shut his mouth.
他太烦人了 He's very annoying.
我要尿尿 憋不住了 I need to pee. I can't hold it.
好的 好的 Okay. Okay.
我们慢慢来 Nice and easy.
但丁 你能拿些婴儿油和棉签吗 Actually, Dante, can you grab some baby oil and Q-tips?
-我觉得这…… -哎呀 - I think it'll be... - Ow!
天杀的 我的唇疱疹刚好 Dammit! I was just getting over a cold sore.
这渣男不值得你关心 The cheater does not deserve your care.
你跟他们说了崔西的事 You told these people about Tracy?
你有什么毛病 What the hell is wrong with you?
嘿 嘿 Hey. Hey.
该死 Dammit!
没人能这么对她说话 放尊重点 No one talks to her that way. Show some respect. Huh?
对克里斯汀吗 To Kristin?
咦 克里斯汀 做点什么 Ew. Kristin, do something.
你为什么对这个王八羔子 Why are you so nice
这么好 to this stronzo?
你怎么敢叫我一些 How dare you call me something
我都不知道什么意思的东西 I don't even know what it means?
这些人到底是谁 Who the hell are these people?
他们是榨葡萄的 They are her best grape squashers.
我是做标签的 And I'm the label maker.
没错 我现在是酒商 Yes. I am a vintner now.
-你造剑吗 -葡萄酒 王八羔子 - You make swords? - Wine, stronzo.
我一离开这里就去查查那个词 I'm gonna look that word up as soon as I get outta here.
你怎么会来这儿 Why are you even here?
我没有你的消息 很担心你 I hadn't heard from you. I was worried about you.
我想你了 I miss you.
好的 Okay.
行吧 Okay, fine.
你失业之后 After you lost your job,
我们的联名银行账户就空了 our joint bank account is empty.
所以我想 So, I figured, you know,
我既然是你丈夫 since I'm your husband,
我也许应该和你一起住大别墅 I should probably come live with you in the villa.
天啊 一切都豁然开朗 Oh, my God. It all makes perfect sense now.
你来这里是对我另有所图 You only came here to get something else from me!
回家吧 保罗 Go home, Paul.
实际上 你的积分只够买一张单程票 Actually, you only had enough points for a one-way ticket.
-真可怜 -他不值得 Pathetic. - He's not worth it.
你看上他什么了 What did you see in him?
-拿我的卡 -克里斯汀 别 - Just take my card and... - Kristin, no.
不要 Don't!
-不 你能做的更好 -你说的对 - No, you're better than this. - You're right.
-我应该亲自订票 -不 克里斯汀 - I should just book it myself. - No, Kristin.
-我们不是这个意思 -那样更糟 - That's not what we meant! - That's worse.
行吧 行吧 Fine. Fine.
保罗 你是个成年人了 Paul, you're a grown-ass man!
-自己想办法 -这才对嘛 - Figure it out yourself! - There you go.
-主宰你的力量 -真棒 Own your power. Brava.
带他去机场 So, take him to the airport!
你紧张得采了一晚上葡萄 You've been stress - grape gathering all night.
别担心你的无能丈夫了 Stop worrying about your imbecile husband.
他会想到办法回家的 或者不会 He'll find his way home. Or he won't.
不 只是因为 你知道 保罗这么多年 No, it's just that, you know, Paul hurt me so much
用谎言伤的我很深 over the years with all the lying.
我不想对洛伦佐做同样的事 And I don't wanna do that to Lorenzo.
但你不能把这部分生活告诉洛伦佐 But you can't tell Lorenzo about this part of your life.
我知道 我知道 I know. I know.
但如果这不是我生活的一部分呢 But what if it wasn't part of my life?
你在说什么 What are you saying?
我是说 I'm saying...
我想退出 I want out.
但家族首领今天要开会 But the family heads are meeting today.
我不允许上桌 I'm not allowed at the table,
但你和法布里齐奥必须到场 but you and Fabrizio have to be there.
好的 非常好 Okay, perfect.
我会在那里宣布退位 Well, that's where I'll announce my resignation.
但你不能一走了之 But you can't just leave.
实际上我能 Actually, yes, I can.
你说过 一旦我带来和平 记得吗 You said, once I made peace, remember?
你相信了我 You believed me.
我知道你不会回到以前的悲惨生活 I knew you wouldn't go back to your old sad life.
而且 那是在你打造出这片美景之前 Besides, that was before you created all this beauty.
药品生意 帮助别人 The pharmacy business. Helping people.
我知道 我只是想给洛伦佐一个机会 I know. I just wanna give Lorenzo a chance.
所以你愿意为了一个素不相识的男人 So, you're willing to give up all of this
放弃这一切 for a man you barely know?
什么 我们都约会几个月了 What? We've been dating for months!
你在他面前放过屁吗 Have you farted in front of him?
嗯 放过小小的悄悄屁 Well, like a tiny little...
他没听见 不过你知道 He didn't hear it. But, you know,
他在我面前放过一次屁 he did fart in front of me once.
说真的 But, really,
我已经下定决心了 I've made up my mind.
好吧 Fine.
我只希望这是你想要的 I just hope this is what you want.
别让一个男人决定你是谁 或你能做什么 Never let a man dictate who you are or what you can do.
感谢大家今天来开会 Thank you all for joining us today.
我们召开此次会议 We called this meeting
是为了讨论你的药品生意 to discuss your pharmaceutical business.
好的 Yes.
大家好 我是巴尔巴诺老大 Hello, everyone. I'm Donna Balbano.
我今天给大家带了一些 And I brought a little something special
特别的礼物 - for everybody today.
哒哒 我做了松饼 Ta-da! I made muffins.
我知道你们可能不想吃它 I know you may not wanna eat them
因为之前的下毒事件 because of the whole poison thing,
但请记住 我们在和平相处 but please remember, we are at peace.
看到没 嗯 See? Mmm.
无毒的松饼 Poison-free muffins.
我只是觉得一起吃面包 I just thought it would be really nice
-会很好 -克里斯汀 - to break bread together. - Kristin!
-我的香蕉快坏了 -够了 - My bananas were going bad... - Enough!
我得利用起来 And I needed to use them.
你的生意给我们带来了大麻烦 Your business is causing quite the problem for us.
我经营的是药品 妈宝 I deal with pharmaceuticals, Mammone.
我没碰电子产品 也没碰你的车 I'm not touching electronics, or your cars.
是 是 是 Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
但我们所有的生意 But all of our business
都必须过安检 has to pass by the inspectors.
而检查员都是你的人 And the inspectors are on your payroll.
嘿 听着 我可以和检查员说说 Hey, listen, listen. I could talk to the inspectors.
我和他们关系很好 I have a great rapport with them.
为时已晚 我们损失了很多钱 The damage is done. We are losing a lot of money.
你必须赔偿一定比例的费用 You must pay a percentage of your business.
其实现在真不是时候 Actually, now is really not the best time.
我希望我们能维持这难得修来的 I was hoping we can keep all this beautiful peace
美好和平 that we've been enjoying.
我还活着 你们都还活着 You know, I'm alive. You guys are all alive.
其实这些松饼也是一种临别礼物 In fact, these muffins are kind of a parting gift.
我打算很快退位 I'm planning on stepping down shortly.
我会把你们交给更好的人选 Oh, I'll be leaving you in very good hands.
比安卡会接手 Bianca will be taking over
担任巴尔巴诺家族的新老大 as the new boss of the Balbano family.
你的秘书 Your secretary?
她可不只是秘书 She is so much more than a secretary.
你不知道她的厉害 You have no idea.
真好笑 Nice joke.
你觉得你能把我们都耍一遍 You think you can fuck us all over
然后一走了之 and leave?
没有 No.
这可不行 It doesn't work like that.
哇哦 哇哦 哇哦 Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.
大家都冷静点 我没有耍任何人 Let's all calm down. I'm not fucking anybody over.
反黑调查部
你们全部被捕了
洛伦佐 天呐 你是警察 Lorenzo? Oh, my God, you're a cop?
没耍我们 是吗 Not fucking us over, eh?
立即放下武器
你们听到了
放下武器 混蛋 Weapons down, motherfuckers!
爱斯梅拉达姑妈 Aunt Esmeralda?
天啊 Oh, my...
克里斯汀 克里斯汀 Kristin! Kristin!
不 不 不 不 No, no, no. No, no, no, no, no.
克里斯汀 克里斯汀 Kristin. Kristin!
-我们走 -好 - Let's go! - Okay.
弯腰 Stay low.
所以你一直都在利用我吗 So, you were just using me this whole entire time?
我父母在我面前 My parents were gunned down
被黑手党枪杀了 by the Mafia right in front of me!
在我的足球赛上 在我失球之后 At my soccer game. After I missed a goal.
乌兹冲锋枪 Uzi.
我被分配到这个案子 I was assigned to this case...
所以我只是个案子 So I'm just a case?
那你的婚姻 你的前妻呢 都是谎言吗 What about your marriage, and your ex, that's lies?
大部分是 Mostly.
爱斯梅拉达是谁 And who the fuck is Esmeralda?
你是说玛丽亚 她是我上司 You mean Maria? She's my boss.
那你是谁 And who are you?
-我是鲁道夫 -鲁道夫 - I am Rodolfo. - Rodolfo?
对 但你可以叫我鲁迪 Yes, but you can call me Rudy.
鲁迪 我什么都不会叫你 Rudy? I'm not calling you anything.
妈妈 Mama!
天啊 你到底会不会做意面 Oh, my God. Are you even a pasta maker?
我们本来要私奔的 We were gonna run away together.
我们打算开一家餐厅 We were gonna open a restaurant.
我来酿酒 你来煮菜 I was gonna make the wine,you were gonna make the food.
我要变胖 你不会在意 I was gonna get fat and you weren't gonna care.
那会是天堂 It was gonna be heaven!
有多胖 How fat?
安全了 All clear!
离我远点 Get away from me.
拜托 别走 克里斯汀 Please. No, no, Kristin, please. Kristin.
不 我不会和你说话 我们结束了 No, I am not talking to you. We are done.
不 克里斯汀 Uh, no, Kristin.
我要逮捕你 I'm arresting you.
对不起 I'm sorry.
对此我很抱歉 I'm so sorry for this.
走吧 Come on.
我 I...
你 You...
头发里有一根手指 have a finger in your hair.
塞你屁眼里吧 Stick it up your ass!
再见 Ciao.
所以 So...
这是你第一次打官司吗 This is your first trial, right?
-嗯 -哦 真好 - Mmm-hmm. - Oh, good for you.
等等 等等 Wait. Wait.
-不好意思 -天啊 珍妮 - Excuse me. Oh, my God, Jenny!
克里斯汀 Kristin.
-什么都别说 -太谢谢你了 - Don't say anything. - Thank you so much.
-天啊 -天啊 嘿 - Oh, my God. - Oh, my goodness. Hey!
别碰我的当事人 Take your hands off of my client!
把这个给我 Give me that. Give...
你算什么 脱尿布了吗 What are you, still in diapers?
比安卡联系了我 Bianca called me.
你不会以为我会让我闺蜜 You didn't think I was gonna let my best friend
在意大利监狱里腐烂吧 rot in an Italian jail, did you?
我看过阿曼达·诺克斯的文件 不行 I saw the Amanda Knox doc. No.
天啊 他们是怎么出狱的 Oh, my God. How did they get out of jail?
指控他们的证据不足 Not enough evidence to charge them.
好吧 比安卡呢 她在哪儿 Right. And what about Bianca? Where is she?
她不在这儿对你更有利 It's better for you if she's not here.
好的 明白 Okay, got it.
-他就是洛伦佐 -是的 - That Lorenzo? - Yeah.
嗨 Hi.
混蛋 Dick!
回音效果真棒 Such a good echo.
真是个混蛋 What a dick!
法官大人 Signora Giudice,
今天我要证明巴尔巴诺女士接管了 today I will show that Ms. Balbano has taken over
她祖父朱塞佩·巴尔巴诺的 the criminal enterprise of her grandfather,
犯罪事业 Giuseppe Balbano.
法官大人 Madame Judge,
法官大人 Signora Giudice,
我会证明我的当事人只是单纯来意大利 I will show you that my client simply came to Italy
参加葬礼 to pay her respects and found
然后发现她继承了一个葡萄园 that she had inherited a vineyard.
现在 我的当事人是否出现在 Now, was my client seen in a room
满是可疑人物的房间里 filled with questionable people?
当然是 但她只是去告诉他们 她不想参与其中 Sure. But only to tell them that she wanted no part of it.
詹妮娜 Giannina,
你能说说你和这位嫌疑人的事情吗 could you tell us your dealings with the Indagato.
所有人都叫我“服务员” Well, everyone else calls me "waitress,"
女服务员 cameriera,
但她叫我的名字 but she calls me by my name.
她喜欢我的盆景树 She likes my bonsai tree.
她说我们是她最好的酿酒师 She tells us we are her best vintners.
她让我们觉得被人欣赏 She makes us feel appreciated.
所以我们当她的保镖 以表感激之情 So, we repay our gratitude by being her bodyguards.
我们陪她去开会 We go with her at the meeting
因为他们想伤害这位 because they want to hurt
亲切的女士 sweet woman.
他们是超级无敌大坏蛋 They are very, very, very bad guys.
看看他们对可怜的但丁做了什么 Look what they did to the poor Dante.
你的卧底行动持续了多久 How long was this undercover operation of yours?
我调查朱塞佩·巴尔巴诺好几年了 Well, I've been investigating Giuseppe Balbano for years.
我遇到嫌疑人时 When I met the Indagato,
她刚抵达意大利 要去参加葬礼 she'd just landed in Italy for the funeral...
你什么时候开始 And when did you start having
和我的当事人发生性关系 sexual relations with my client?
这里由我提问 I ask the questions here!
你什么时候开始 And when did you start
和嫌疑人发生性关系 having sexual relations with the Indagato?
大概 About...
一天之后 one day after.
但这是她要求的 But she was asking for it.
好吧 我是说 不是要求 Okay. I mean, not... I mean, not asking.
但她说这次旅行是她的《美食 祈祷 做爱》 But she said this trip was her "Eat, Pray, Fuck."
那本书叫《美食 祈祷 恋爱》 The book is Eat, Pray, Love.
你利用了一个无辜的酿酒师 You took advantage of an innocent winemaker
还侮辱了一部文学名著 and sullied a literary masterpiece.
你真恶心 You gross.
我来这个国家的时候 I came to this country
我完全怀疑自我 at a time in my life where I completely doubted myself.
等我到了这里 Then when I arrived here,
我发现我继承了一个葡萄园 I discovered that I had inherited a vineyard.
它当时在枯萎 It was shriveling
奄奄一息 and dying...
和我很像 much like me.
所以我悉心照料它 So, I nurtured it.
然后我意识到 And I came to realize
我继承的不只是一个葡萄园 that I inherited so much more than a vineyard.
我继承的是一个实现目标的机会 I inherited an opportunity to fulfil my purpose.
所以 So...
我继承了我自己 I inherited me.
谢谢 Thank you.
我不需要再听了 I don't need to hear anything anymore.
我已经做好了决定 I've made my decision.
庭审到此结束 No grounds to proceed.
他会送我回家 He's gonna give me a ride home.
真棒 Bravo!
克里斯汀 Kristin?
克里斯汀 等等 等等 Kristin, wait, wait, wait, wait...
恭喜你 Congratulations.
我只想告诉你 并非一切都是谎言 Well, I just wanted you to know that it wasn't all lies.
我真的爱上了你 I really did fall in love with you.
我依然爱着你 And I still love you.
我以为我听从了内心 I thought I was listening to my heart.
但事实证明 But it turns out
我只是利用另一个男人来验证我 I was just using another man to validate me.
我这辈子第一次 And for the first time in my life...
真心的不在乎 I honestly don't give a shit.
我的天 但丁 但丁 Oh, my God. Dante. Dante.
天啊 那些挨千刀的罗马诺人 Oh, my God, those goddamn Romanos.
他流了好多血 Oh, he's losing a lot of blood.
来 用这个 Here, I've got this thing.
天呐 天呐 我们得找人帮他 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. We need to get him some help.
天啊 是谁 Oh, God, who is this?
是比安卡 她在酿酒厂 It's Bianca. She's in the winery.
天啊 她也中枪了 Oh, my God, she's been shot, too.
额 好的 你在这陪着但丁 我去找比安卡 Uh, uh, okay, you stay with Dante and I'll go to Bianca.
等等 等等 Wait, wait, wait.
以防万一 Just in case.
比安卡 Bianca?
什么 尼克 What? Nicky.
比安卡已经死了 Bianca is dead.
妈妈 Mom.
我就知道你会回来 I knew you'd come back
只要你心爱的比安卡发消息给你 if your precious Bianca texted you.
放下枪 Drop the gun.
然后踢给我 And kick it to me.
真听话 Good girl.
你们在这里干嘛 What are you guys doing here?
你可以感谢你的老公 You can thank your husband for this.
他把你儿子引来 He lured your son here to...
让你感到内疚 something about guilting you
从而又接受他 into taking him back.
听着 我很担心你 妈妈 Look, I was worried about you, Mom.
-哦 亲爱的 -亲爱的 - Oh, honey. Honey.
你想怎样 What do you want?
你认真的吗 Are you serious?
我想当巴尔巴诺家族的老大 I want to be the head of the Balbano family!
我已经宣布我要退位了 I told everyone I'm leaving.
但你把一切留给了比安卡 And leaving it all to fucking Bianca!
嘿 Hey!
真的吗 保罗 你打算这么晃出去 Really, Paul? You're just gonna waddle out of here
把我们儿子丢在这儿 and leave our son sitting there?
喔 喔 Whoa, whoa!
不 No!
你敢碰我儿子 Don't you dare touch my kid!
妈妈 当心 Mom, look out.
我中枪了 好痛 I've been shot. It burns.
你对男人的品味真差 You have terrible taste in men.
少废话 No shit.
保罗 帮儿子松绑 Paul, untie our son
-带他离开这儿 -松开我 - and get the hell outta here! - Untie me.
亲爱的 这个结解不开 Babe, this knot is impossible.
等等 Hold on.
-保罗 来拿着 -嗯 好的 - Paul. Here, take this. - Yeah? Okay.
指着他 好吗 Keep it pointed at him, okay?
行 好重 Yeah, it's heavy.
好了 天呐 你没事吧 There. Oh, my God. Are you okay?
没事 你呢 Yeah. Are you?
天啊 真高兴见到你 Oh, God, I'm so happy to see you.
-我好想你 -你好吗 - I've missed you so much. - How are you?
嘿 嘿 我松开了绳结 对吧 Hey, hey, I loosened the knot, right?
你就是个孩子 You're a baby.
我不是孩子 你才是 I'm not a baby, you're a baby.
你是个胖矮的大孩子 You're a big, fat, podgy baby.
你是愚蠢的金发孩子 You're a big, stupid, blonde baby.
你是在尿布拉屎的孩子 You're a baby with big poop in your diaper.
-妈妈 -不许动 - Mom! - Don't move!
天啊 比安卡 你还活着 Oh, my God, Bianca, you're alive!
我当然活着 Of course I am.
不 不 不 No, no, no...
法布里齐奥的枪法贼烂 Fabrizio is a terrible shot.
等等 等等 Wait, wait, wait.
我看着你死的 I saw you die.
你看我像个女人一样中枪 You saw me take a bullet like a woman.
但那里有一条大动脉 But there is a fucking major artery right there.
射错腿了 蠢货 Wrong leg, idiot.
-高强度钢 -太酷啦 High tension steel. - It's fucking cool, man.
我必须重新调整一下 I did have to re-adjust it.
所以我这么久才来 抱歉 That's why it took me so long. Sorry.
亲爱的 我很高兴你没事 Oh, honey, I'm just glad you're okay.
谢谢你 亲爱的 Grazie, amore.
我又中枪了 I'm hit again.
爸爸 快来 Dad, come on.
比安卡 照顾好我孩子 好吗 Bianca, take care of my kid, okay?
冲向门口 Make a break for the door.
我来掩护 立刻 I'll cover. Now!
走吧 尼克 Come on, Nicky.
走吧 赶紧 Come on. Come on.
快走 快走 Go, go.
-帮帮我 尼克 -快点 - Help me, Nicky. - Come on.
放下枪 Drop it.
你认为你可以直接过来接管一切 You think you can just come here and take over?
这是我的 一切都是我的 This is mine! All of it!
我赢得的 I earned it!
额 你没有赢得任何东西 Uh, you didn't earn anything.
是我不得不过来 I'm the one who had to come over here
收拾你的烂摊子 and clean your mess up.
拜托 Oh, please.
是的 是我把这难喝的酒 Oh, yeah. I am the one who made this
做的滋味醇厚 awful wine fucking delicious.
没错 是我 Yeah, me. This.
我在过去三个月里 I have done more for this family
为家族做的贡献 in the last three months
比你一辈子做的都多 than you have your entire life.
你还认为自己有资格当老大 And yet you feel entitled to be the boss?
天啊 额 Oh, my God. Uh...
哎呀 你…… Oops. Are you, uh...
我想这有点生锈了 I guess it's a little rusty, huh?
我应该维修一下 I should get this fixed.
救救我 Help me!
拜托 求你了 表姐 Please. Please, cousin.
说出来 Say it.
什么 What?
说我是老大 Say I'm the boss.
绝不 Never!
那作为老大 我只能让你滚了 Then, as the boss, I'm gonna have to let you go.
我一直想说这句话 I've always wanted to say that.
你做不到 对吧 You can't do it, can you?
嘿 嘿 别动 不 Hey. Hey, stop! No!
不 No!
好的 正式推出最新的巴尔巴诺红酒 Okay. Introducing the newest Balbano rose.
名字叫小拇指 It's called Little Pinky.
-干杯 -干杯 Salute.Salute.
呜呼 Whoo-hoo!
真爽口 That is crisp.
你知道 这些巴尔巴诺红酒 You know, this Balbano wine's
会让我陷入大麻烦 gonna get me into some serious trouble.
黑化的珍妮要来了 Blackout Jenny is coming.
好吧 亲爱的 你们继续 All right, all right, sweetie, you should get going.
听说你中枪了 Heard you got shot.
嗯 我也中枪了 Yeah, I got shot, too.
-我缝了五针 -哦 - I got, like, five stitches. - Oh.
你呢 How about you?
二十七针 Twenty-seven stitches.
子弹还留在我的脾脏里 And they left the bullet in my spleen.
-你想摸摸吗 -不 收起来 - You wanna touch it? - No. Put it away.
哦 Oh.
-我想摸摸 -嗯 - I wanna touch it. - Mmm.
过来让我看看 Now, come. Show me around.
我从没想到你这么厉害 You know, I never realized what a badass you are.
你知道 我也没想到 You know, neither did I.
多米尼克 我要告诉你一些事 Domenick, there's something I need to tell you.
我和你父亲要离婚 Your father and I are getting a divorce.
你没事吧 我知道你一时难以接受 Are you okay? I know it's a lot to take in.
我刚被当做人质 I was just held hostage...
被枪指着 - at gunpoint.
离婚没啥大不了的 Divorce is fine. Yeah.
过来 我讨厌和你说再见 Come here. I hate saying goodbye to you.
我会想你的 I'm gonna miss you.
嗯 但我们下周见 妈妈 Yeah, but I'll see you next week, Mom.
额 好 Uh, yeah.
-爱你哦 -其实…… - Love you. - Actually, um...
我一直在考虑 I've been thinking about it, and...
-我要留在这儿 -真的吗 - I'm gonna stay here. - Seriously?
对 巴尔巴诺红酒真的很火 Yeah. Balbano Wine's really taking off.
这是我有生以来第一次 And for the first time in my life,
做了我想做的事 I'm doing exactly what I wanna do.
但你在这里安全吗 Yeah, but are you sure it's safe here?
不是有很多人想伤害你吗 Aren't there a lot of people who, like, wanna hurt you?
不 那已经不是问题了 No, that's not a problem any more.
嘿 妈宝 Hey, Mammone.
别惹我 不然你就是下一个 "Don't fuck with me or you're next."
法布里齐奥 Fabrizio.
她杀了自己的表弟
但你不是 But you're not like,
你知道 you know...
黑手党的吧 in the Mafia, right?
我酿酒 仅此而已 I make wine. That's all.
-酒商 -是的 - A vintner? - Yeah.
我想留下 I wanna stay here
-和你一起酿酒 -不行 - and be a vintner with you. - No.
打给我 Call me.
马特利先生和夫人找你 Mr. and Mrs. Martelli for you.
谢谢 巴尔巴诺老大 Grazie, Donna Balbano.
愿好人有好报
哦 糟糕 Oh, shit.
尼克 等等 等等 Uh, Nicky. Wait, wait, wait.
我给你做了些飞机上吃的什锦干果 I made you some trail mix for the flight.
别忘了穿上毛衣 And don't forget to put on your sweater, okay.
飞机上很冷 It gets chilly on the plane.
-我爱你 -我也爱你 - I love you. - You, too.
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